Pinky Offline

IDid i Mess up.
My husband call and said he would come and give 100 and 10%.well i said ok he was here three weeks and three days .I was at Bible Study and when I got back he had call from a phone and left a message for me on the phone.He said we could not live with eath other.he promised me when he came home that if it did not work out that we would take care of it the adult way .
what did he do while I was gone he ran.
I love this man why can't he stop this and love and take his wife.
I ask ever day what could I have done to make him want me and our marrige.
The hurt is so painful I sometimes fill I can't fight any longer .
It took all the strenth this winter to make it .I had the worse winter here for as long as I can remember,plus having to put one of my cat;s down 1 week and a half after he left.
I fell like he faten me up when he can back and that lead me to the slauther.I want to give up so bad .I have been so sick today ,I can;t eat.WHY DOES LOVE HAVE TO HURT.
IT WAS TO BE THE MOST WONDER THING FOR TWO PEOPLE.
I fill like I broke my vows becaus I could not be the trash he needed in his life and in his bed.So that destoryed my marriage.
when or if there is a divorice will God forgive for not staying through the good and the bad times and sick and health till dealth do us part. what is right what is wrong .I don;t anymore.I am at wits"end. I need prayer more than ever

I knowi have not posted on my forums lately.
I am new at this ,and yes it may seem easy to so but I have trouble with it sometimes.
It is Embarrassing to me to try and learn.
but my head has been turning in so many direction for the last 5 ans a half months i can't even think strait anymore .
I hope to learn all there is so I can talk to someone about.
It scares me to think that there is no cure for this .
Even if i can take him back I am not sure I can trust him anymore